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 gossip         Up for a cup of tea?

I am sitting with my friend enjoying a cup of PG Tips tea.  Bob and I are chatting about how damaging  gossip can be.

The dictionary describes GOSSIP as  “idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others” and RUMOR “as a story or statement in general circulation without confirmation or certainty as to facts.”

There is a thin line between Gossip and Rumor,  neither good for the person targeted.

Unfortunately, Gossip or Rumors may or may not be true, and in most instances shouldn’t be shared and talked about anyway.  We use it as a way to bond, to appear more important than we are, or as a juicy tidbit to share with friends.  It seems harmless enough in the moment.  However,  when you are the target of the gossip or rumor, the entire picture changes.  I was recently the victim of an untrue rumor.   It was hurtful and harmful to my job and reputation.  It was devastating, based solely on jealousy.  As I tried to understand why,  it  suddenly occurred to me how many times I had engaged in idle gossip; passing along information that was private but juicy.  Information I had heard from someone else.  This is how it all starts and then becomes a domino effect.  I was just as guilty.

You are truly not aware of the impact, until it happens to you.  It can be destructive. I would say STOP, THINK, PUT YOURSELF in the person’s shoes for one minute,  and maybe the information isn’t so interesting after all.  Would you appreciate it?  It gave me pause.  I am now more mindful and thoughtful of the impact I can have by passing along a simple tidbit.  Don’t be afraid to stop gossip before it starts;  It starts with you,  shut it down.


Gossip/Rumors are damaging!


Swans  Up for a cup of tea?

I am chatting and enjoying a quiet moment with my friend and we are talking about relationships.

Gillian and I are talking about moments when we look at our husbands and want to scream out in frustration and then the moment passes.  I can’t say that I know many married friends, who are raising kids, working, volunteering, managing a household and holding it down blissfully. Everyone has issues.  What I have learned is that there is a comfortable acceptance of companionship and finding a way of making it work, together.  

We all have the brilliant idea at some point along the way that we could go it alone, but in the long run that may or may not be true.  If you are in an abusive relationship of some kind then leaving is surely the right option.  In today’s world it has become so easy to separate and not make the effort to continue, but should be given more consideration especially when kids are involved.  Government statistics as of 2011 show that 36% of marriages end in divorce, an alarming number which continues to climb.  It also shows that women suffer more than men financially, usually  when the woman has been at home caring for kids.  Look, there are circumstances beyond our control where we don’t have the choice of whether to  stay together because one person makes the decisions and stands by it.  However,   when there is a chance it could improve,  then we must plunge in head first and work to fix the issues.   The grass isn’t always greener is a perfect expression, but sometimes we have the need to find out.  My girlfriends and I sometimes make the statement, “how am I going to get out of this?” ; there are many days like that…but like Alexander says in the popular children’s story,  “It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. My mom says some days are like that…Even in Australia.”

All this to say, sometimes we need to try a little bit harder, a little bit longer, and maybe, just maybe, the outcome can be different.  Someone has to take the first step.  Kindness is contagious. 



Universal intervention Up for a cup of tea?

I am sitting enjoying my usual cup of PG tips tea with my friend and chatting about whether or not we believe in universal intervention. Should we just trust it?

Lisa and I chat about lots of different things but this  is particularly interesting. I read the book “The Secret” , which is based on the premise of belief, and thoughts becoming deeds .  I have come to support the theory that if you put your thoughts into the universe, things happen. We may not always appreciate the answers at the time but may have greater appreciation later.

Here’s my personal story about why I believe this is true. My mom was diagnosed with ALS (known as Lou Gehrigs Disease) . ALS unfortunately is terminal. Devastating news for any family. Many of you know exactly where I was, and can relate. Over a period of years my mom put up a good fight, but passed away a few years ago.

I tell you this because a month before she passed away, I unexpectedly was downsized from my job just before the Christmas holidays. My thoughts were crowded with how to cope with finding another job in a tough economy. However, when my mom passed, there was no substitute for the time away from a stressful sales job. I was given the gift of time to grieve and heal.

Some may say I was dealt a terrible hand, but I say, I was extremely lucky.  The universe knew what I needed as I was able to grieve,  and then re-focus and plan. Funny enough, money seemed to flow from the most unexpected places and was never an added stress. A few months later, I landed a good job at an organization I liked.

Sometimes blessings are given in the most mysterious ways.  We don’t know always know what they are or  why they came.

Simply believe that the universe is working in your favor.


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Theodore Roosevelt